TEH TROLL Oracle
You come across a path in a lush public park. It’s a beautiful spring day and you decide to follow where this path may lead, enjoying the scenery and afternoon breeze. After a time, you come to a red bridge, inviting and clear over rippling water. You can’t explain it, but somehow you know you must cross this bridge, must continue this walk you’re on. What is on the other side is important to you right here, right now.
But as you approach, the spirit of an Internet troll emerges from the shadows under the bridge. His brow is furrowed in anger and he’s typing something with his toes - typing, thinking, grunting, retyping. He wants what he’s about to say to really get under your skin.
You have found the TEH TROLL Oracle, and it has a story to share with you today. !!1!
TEH TROLL Oracle says:
(Cleaned up quite a bit, because troll speak is simply awful.)
You’ve come to a crossroads. This is the place where you choose to push through and continue to the next part of the path, or turn around and go home. This is a test, a challenge of how sure and committed you are to your path. And a preparation of your emotional, mental, and energetic self before you’re allowed to cross.
Teh Troll is the guardian of this particular crossroad. He has appeared from the shadows to test your nervous system. To a hungry troll, your energy is smelling especially tasty. He wants some of that for himself. The way you respond will let you know for sure whether you are ready - yet - for what’s to come next.
Teh Troll speaks in riddles, double speak, and insults. It’s his job to diminish you, to drain you, to try to ruin your day. It’s a job he takes VERY SRSLY.
He wants to find out: Will you back away from his nasty typing toes? Will you play along with his riddles? Or will you trick him at his own game just by refusing to play it?
Some roads take unshakeable self-centering, emotional grounding, and nervous system control. You are on one such road. Before the the next level, Teh Troll comes out to test your readiness. Where you are going, there are bigger trolls and other monsters to face.
His words are ugly and not anything you deserve. He wants to see if he can pull you off course, into his misery with him. In fact, he’d like your misery to feed him full to burping. Gross, right?
Even if you don’t respond to Teh Troll the way you’d like this time around, even if you can’t cross the bridge at this moment, you will come back and try again. Your journey matters too much for a smelly gatekeeper troll to stop you. That’s what he wants to happen, but nope. Not you. Someone should have told this troll: You’re not the one.
When you do cross this bridge, the garden on the other side will be more lush, the grass grass-ier, the atmosphere more welcoming. And you’ll be more than prepared to meet whatever troll finds you next. You’ll have seen it before. It won’t be scary. You’ll yawn and say, “Ok?” and continue on your merry way.
No one loves to see Teh Troll coming. But in the rearview, he looks very small and silly. amusing that either he or you ever thought that he could block your way at all.
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About the Oracles
Bailey Lewis - the voice behind and creator of Found Oracles - is an award-winning writer, multimedia storyteller, and owner of Bailey Sends Word Story Studio.
Visit the Bailey Sends Word Story Studio site for more stories steeped in modern mythos - work exploring intuition, mystical encounters in the everyday, and how the stories we tell ourselves create our reality.